Dear Future Self: Surrendering

Dear Future Self,

It’s me again…

Since the last time I wrote you, I think I managed to get a hold of things. I guess you probably forgot that you got lectured by your boss. I didn’t realize that I am so depressed. I thought that I was okay, but apparently other people can sense it that it was affecting my work progress. Crazy huh?

My boss is very worried and he’s worried to bring me on as a partner in the business if I’m not getting back to my old self. I guess I can’t really handle my emotions well. I ended up crying. Shameful…

Today, I managed to complete most of my todo list. I’m not sure what music you’re listening to, but just in case you ever feel down… listen to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. I’m not sure what kind of music it is. It could be swing. It could be jazz. Either way, it uplifts me. It makes me want to dance.

I’m done making excuses for why our life is the way it is. No worries though. I’m taking action little by little. I guess any kind of action is better than not doing anything at all which is why I continue to write.

Make sure to never skip a workout whenever times are getting difficult. That’s what I’ve done and doesn’t actually help. If you can manage to just get up and go for a run, you’ll feel a lot better.

My boss says that I am constantly trading things and selling things to get other stuff because I’m looking for a quick fix on obtaining happiness. It was such an eye opener that I never thought of that behavior. I guess what I’m looking to do now is try to obtain happiness without binging on food and buying materialistic things. After all, it’s not really helping me financially and the burden is getting heavier.

Life is a puzzle. Well that’s how I want to view it at this moment. It’s a massive jigsaw piece that I’m trying to piece together. I’m going to be experimenting and experiencing new things hopefully. Whatever piece I do not want, then I’m going to toss it away. I probably won’t make sense by the time you read this, but it makes sense to me at this present moment.

Whatever you are doing…. don’t give up.


Obnoxious Lifters & Personal Development

When it comes to personal development, I try to take in whatever I learn. I try to apply the elements and tips that “successful” people often give. To this day, I struggle with personal development either because of bag habits coming back or what have you. The habit I really have a hard time building at this moment is “patience”. I tend to have mood swings and I tend to thing negative things when I start having mood swings. Afterwards, it is basically just a snow ball effect that gets worse. How many of you can relate sometimes? Most times I’ll be trying to concentrate and then my mind starts thinking of that “one” thing that is bothering me and dwells on it.

I’ve also noticed when it comes to working out or in life in general. Sometimes, I just get so much energy that I can’t contain it. It’s like a burst. When I mean burst, I like burst with a shout or something. I’m not sure what that implies, but I can’t contain it at times. When it comes to working out I feel like I can go all out, but in reality I’m not really putting all in first. How many of you can relate?