Dear Future Self

Dear Future Self,

It’s a tad bit awkward knowing that I’m writing this. I was originally supposed to just do a regular blog post talking about what kind of progress I’ve made throughout the week. It’s actually harder than it looks, so here I am writing to you in hopes that one day you’ll look back to remember the struggles you are going through.

My life has been a mess. I realized that the only person to blame is myself. I’ve made some idiotic mistakes that got me in this situation in the first place. I’m financially struggling and I can’t run anymore.

You’re probably in a good place right now or at least I hope so. I’m hoping that by the end of this year, I will be able to walk a path far better than this one. Right now, I have a wonderful girlfriend who’s been with me through everything.

She’s been with me through all my hardships, and I sometimes feel like I don’t deserve that kind of love. Afterall, I feel that she deserves someone better. Future self, if only you could give me some kind of hint on where I should go… this would be a lot easier.

It is in my hopes that the person I love is the person I’ll end up marrying because I know she sees a part in me that I don’t even see. So I guess, I’m trying here… Let’s face it. I wanted to give up. I wanted to stay in my comfort zone, but it just feels like I’m being pulled away from that more and more I try to stay in this little world of mine.

If you look back at this whether it’ll be tomorrow or a year from now. Please let me know how much I’ve progressed since writing you this.

Advertisements

Day 0 – My Life Down Under

Today, I wanted to just write about what’s going on my life. I realized I never really taken the time to write in a journal despite me creating blogs about my fitness journey.

Right now, I’m struggling. I am struggling to the point where I feel like I don’t know whether I can continue on or not. It makes me cry. It makes me furious. It feels like everything goes right and all of a sudden things hit the fan.

I was able to get my own car, but to find out two weeks later it broke down because of a transmission problem. It costs $1500-1650 to repair. Taking a look online to research whether it is worth it or not, I find out that the model I have is known to have lots of problems of breaking down. I end up trying to sell the car to the mechanic. They can offer only $500. Just my luck… I take there offer and still waiting for a call back.

My roommate is moving out saying something how I never clean up the house. I get more stressed because I used to clean everyday, but no one cleans up after there mess. I work 11.5 hours per day, and I’m never home. So I stopped.

The electricity bill gets cut off because my mom was behind.

I become stressed. I can’t think while at work, and my boss can sense it.

I barely have any money for food or anything. I realize that people stress more about the bills and debt because that’s what I’m doing. Taking my boss as my mentor and with the help of my girlfriend’s parents. I submit myself to God and his works while listening to the advice of others.