This is Me

The fact that I am back here writing must mean that I’m doing something and I want you all to know. Not exactly. I decided to commit to trying finish my todo list. Actually, there’s so much that is happening in my life that I really can’t explain. I hope to share with you my journey as I go along. I’m just happy that I’m writing again. Sometimes we feel like we aren’t capable writers. We think that what we write won’t make sense and that no one would bother reading it. Honestly, I’m just tired of doing that.

I admit that I haven’t been doing my blogging the way I want it to. Actually, I’m not really sure if I am blogging correcting. More like, this is just my journal entry to remind me of what’s going on and keep things in perspective.

I been reading… well I been trying to read, but now is not the time to make excuses. I workout three times a day and I work 10 hours a day. I still have so much time left that I never really knew where my time has went. So here I am trying to make a daily planner. I am making a weekly planner and a monthly planner. I may not be able to tackle everything that I set out to do, but at least I can figure out what I should be doing at that exact moment.

Let me tell you something though… fasting. I fail at it repeatedly. I think today I managed to eat from 2PM to 6PM, but I ate Wendy’s and then my boss gave me pasta. Then again, I worked out 3x so maybe that would justify it. I really hope to see myself eating from 6PM-10PM instead because I tend to fall asleep if eat anything regardless of the portion size.

So I guess what I really want to tell myself is to not care about the opinion of others. Be free. Do me. Grow. Fail and learn from those failures.


November 2, 2017: 30 Years To Where

I was often told that my life would be a great story to tell. What’s so great about my life? Nothing. 

I hate to admit, but at the age of 30 I am completely disappointed in myself. I’m disappointed that I’ve constantly blamed the people I love for my circumstances. I’m disappointed that I never listened to the good advices that people gave me. I’m disappointed that I’m not to my full potential. I’ve dreamt big dreams but I never put my all into anything. So what am I to do? 

I don’t think I have a huge amount of debt compared to others, but I have debt. Debt is like this crazy Venus fly trap that slowly closes down on you and saps you of your ability to live. I feel stressed when money even comes to mind. I get stressed and frustrated when I constantly try to figure out how to get out of this mess. Actually, I just want to run away. When I get my paycheck, I spend it right away. That’s my problem.

So in order to get somewhere, I’ve created this blog just to document my journey. Feel free to read along because I know other people are in my situation or can relate. Feel free to even comment for some advice. 

I read in a book that in order to truly start making money I need to eliminate bills as much as possible. 

This is what they look like:
T-Mobile: $200 per month

Lowest I can make it: $100 per month

Action: Pay off $1609.75

Gas: $120 per month

Car Insurance: $65 per month

Gym Membership: $21.05 per month

Best Buy: $2496.00
Food varies, but I’m hoping that I could eventually factor that in. My problem has always been money. I’ve always purchased the latest gadget. I always ended up trading my things for something of lower value. I was never really satisfied. My soul is literally craving for something and nothing seems to work. In order to get out of the mess I am in, I need to most likely lower my T-Mobile first. The other part of me is saying that I should pay off Best Buy each week until it’s gone. Interest builds up after all. Either way, the first step is to just pay something. 

Here’s my journey towards making that $50,000.



I honestly thought I was going to be able to wake up to head to the gym. I really wanted to do my cardio intervals. The moment I got out of bed to step on the floor, I could feel my legs. Wow. I guess when your sore in your lower body you know you did a good workout. Despite me not being able to do heavy weights, I’m happy that I feel hurt.

I went to the bathroom only to find myself walking myself back to bed. Forget this. Off I went to go back to sleep. 9 hours of sleep felt amazing! I guess I was just so tired from the day before.

I’m supposed to be eating organic food. Not sure if I just should just order a smoothie though for today. I wanted to do a 24 hour water fast, but can’t yet because tomorrow my friend’s are treating me out as a late birthday treat. So, I’m not trying to overload when breaking a fast too quickly.

Dear Future Self

Dear Future Self,

It’s a tad bit awkward knowing that I’m writing this. I was originally supposed to just do a regular blog post talking about what kind of progress I’ve made throughout the week. It’s actually harder than it looks, so here I am writing to you in hopes that one day you’ll look back to remember the struggles you are going through.

My life has been a mess. I realized that the only person to blame is myself. I’ve made some idiotic mistakes that got me in this situation in the first place. I’m financially struggling and I can’t run anymore.

You’re probably in a good place right now or at least I hope so. I’m hoping that by the end of this year, I will be able to walk a path far better than this one. Right now, I have a wonderful girlfriend who’s been with me through everything.

She’s been with me through all my hardships, and I sometimes feel like I don’t deserve that kind of love. Afterall, I feel that she deserves someone better. Future self, if only you could give me some kind of hint on where I should go… this would be a lot easier.

It is in my hopes that the person I love is the person I’ll end up marrying because I know she sees a part in me that I don’t even see. So I guess, I’m trying here… Let’s face it. I wanted to give up. I wanted to stay in my comfort zone, but it just feels like I’m being pulled away from that more and more I try to stay in this little world of mine.

If you look back at this whether it’ll be tomorrow or a year from now. Please let me know how much I’ve progressed since writing you this.

Day 1 – Running Towards My Fear

I woke up early and stared at my computer. I stared at my to-do list and figured that there’s no point. I probably procrastinated for a good hour of moping around and complaining about my current lifestyle.

I’m not sure what it was, but I knew that I couldn’t just sit still. If I really didn’t like the way my life was, then I had to do something about it. No one was going to help. Only I could help myself. Of course there’s going to be people who support me and people who want to help, but when it comes down to it…. you need to get up. So that’s what I did.

I went to go for a run and even though I haven’t ran the past couple of days. It felt amazing@! It felt amazing knowing i was able to accomplish one task which made me want to accomplish more.

Sure, my bills are looking bad right now but if I keep trying and keep being persistent then eventually they’ll all be eliminated and that’s what I have to stay focused on. I have to keep making small steps that will better my future.

How much can I progress?

Day 0 – My Life Down Under

Today, I wanted to just write about what’s going on my life. I realized I never really taken the time to write in a journal despite me creating blogs about my fitness journey.

Right now, I’m struggling. I am struggling to the point where I feel like I don’t know whether I can continue on or not. It makes me cry. It makes me furious. It feels like everything goes right and all of a sudden things hit the fan.

I was able to get my own car, but to find out two weeks later it broke down because of a transmission problem. It costs $1500-1650 to repair. Taking a look online to research whether it is worth it or not, I find out that the model I have is known to have lots of problems of breaking down. I end up trying to sell the car to the mechanic. They can offer only $500. Just my luck… I take there offer and still waiting for a call back.

My roommate is moving out saying something how I never clean up the house. I get more stressed because I used to clean everyday, but no one cleans up after there mess. I work 11.5 hours per day, and I’m never home. So I stopped.

The electricity bill gets cut off because my mom was behind.

I become stressed. I can’t think while at work, and my boss can sense it.

I barely have any money for food or anything. I realize that people stress more about the bills and debt because that’s what I’m doing. Taking my boss as my mentor and with the help of my girlfriend’s parents. I submit myself to God and his works while listening to the advice of others.