I’m tired and I’m frustrated with myself knowing that I am not able to help those around me who need it. I’m frustrated with being a burden on people when all they have done is help me and stuck by my side regardless of the difficulties I’ve faced.

I’m tired of waking up each day knowing that I’m not living the life that I want to live. With all the pain that I’ve been dealing with I can either throw in the towel or stick for another round. If it wasn’t for my supporting girlfriend, I would’ve gave up long time ago. She has been with me through every part of my life. She’s my best friend, and despite me falling repeatedly; she’s been there to pick me up. I’m not really sure where I would be without her.

Through all these hardships, I have to thank God because if it wasn’t for Him I would not be closer to Him the way I am now. I’ve made my share of mistakes. I am starting to understand that I had to receive a lot of hardships that eventually I had no where else to turn to except Him. By bringing me out of my comfort zone, and falling completely to my knees. I have nothing left to lose, but only thousands of things to gain.

I have always ran away from my problems, but despite the things that are going on my life, I won’t back down. I won’t back down from a fight unless I give it my all. I decided to try out sales at a car dealership. I’m not really sure if I’ll be even good at it, but here I am getting out of my safety zone for God because he has helped me. I did it before when I was little but I’ve only sold albums. My girlfriend thinks it’s because I had a cute factor, but I feel like I had this latent talent to sell. After all, when I had worked at Things Remembered I was top sales every single month for selling premium fonts. I realized throughout my life, I was able to sell a lot. Even in high school, I was able to sell my own music regardless of what people thought about it. They laughed and laughed behind my back, but despite all of that I was able to sell my own music.

I understand that selling cars is completely different from what I’m used to selling, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take even though I will face challenges here and there. I can only rise from this point on…

 

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