So I’ve been doing a weight training program, and last night before I went to sleep I figured I start a different program. This morning I started to work on P90X which is Chest & Back, and I’m all ready dying. I don’t even think I’m done the first half of the workout program which is crazy. I’m sitting here just thinking to myself is this really the right program? This feels like it’s advanced. I figured I start blogging about this just to keep track of my personal progress. To be honest, I have to do knee push-ups. It comes to show that I have lots to work out besides a physical aspect.
I’m at work and I’ve been eating peanuts all day!
I been thinking about eating something else besides PEANUTS!
So I’m literally doing my budgeting and I have this urge to order some pizza. Fantastic! It comes in, and the moment I shove a slice down my throat… I regret it! I think that’s what we all feel after it’s all said and done. We bash ourselves for indulging and not having the discipline to eat. So as I regret, I can feel the oil and nastiness in my throat.
I wish I kept to my peanuts. As I’m typing this, I’m thinking of going back to them because they aren’t that bad.
Listening to Tony Robbins audiobook while at the library. I am awaiting a phone call from a fitness facility stating they want to hire me after they speak to my references. As I’m listening, I have my composition book open writing down questions that I need to answer myself after some thought. I written down a schedule for me to do on a daily basis until I find a stable job. Once I get a stable job, then I will continue to modify my schedule.
What is it that I am trying to achieve? The more I start to produce action and the more I continue to learn, I feel like the answer will come to me.
I am nervous… maybe. I’m not really sure what I am feeling at this moment. I know that I definitely do not like my situation and struggling on a day to day basis. I know that there’s something out there. I know I’m destined for great things. My focus is creating my life. My focus is to achieve success by my own terms.
As I look at my schedule, it consists of:
3AM – Run
4AM – Calisthenics
5AM – Gym (weight training)
6AM – Miracle Morning
7AM – Chores
7:30AM – E-mails
8AM – Meditation
10AM – Read
3PM – Social Media
7PM – Interacting/Engage
9PM – Writing
10PM – Apply to Jobs
11PM – Articles
As I look more at my schedule, I start to question if I can really do this. How do I feel? What kind of feeling do I want to feel? I thought that by tackling anything and everything I would eventually find what it is that I wanted to do and what might work. But then I realized that I was losing focus. That by not focusing on a singular thing, I wouldn’t be able to achieve the success that I so desire.
A lot of you know that I have been working on personal development. Most of you know that I have been struggling to the point where I Just didn’t want to live anymore. It came to the point where I was so depressed, that the thought of my struggles paralyzed me. Just a couple of days, I decided that enough was enough. I went to the library to get Tony Robbin’s Awaken the Giant Within book once more. This time I decided that I would write down what was told, and implement the practices in my life instead of just reading.
I was not expecting for me to write in a composition book again. I didn’t think that I would pick up a pen and start writing, but I really want to change. I’m desperate enough to try everything and do everything.
In the book, it was asking me what are 4 things that I been pushing off. 4 things that despite of me trying, I would not really commit to it. So I decided to start with my four that I have been trying to do… that consisted of waking up at 3am, sticking to the warrior diet, doing the BeachBody business, and doing meditation.
When it comes down to Warrior Diet, I am afraid that I won’t get the desired benefits that come with intermittent fasting. I’m scared that it’s just a fad and that despite my efforts, I won’t gain anything. If I wake up at 3AM, I feel like I will end up just crashing later on in the day which meant that I didn’t really gain extra time so there’s no point in waking up at 3AM anyway. When it comes to meditation, I am afraid that I am just wasting time if I take the time to meditate on a daily basis. When it comes to the BeachBody business; I am scared that if I put the time and effort; I won’t be as successful.
Watch the video for more in-depth.
So I am at the library right now… I woke up a little later than I hoped, but I decided not to procrastinate and be lazy throughout the whole day. As I am finishing up my morning miracle and the rest of my to-do list, it is in my hopes that I will grow at an exponential rate. People have always said that you can’t expect to grow overnight, but I feel that you can grow in a major way if you have enough drive and motivation to do so.
If I had stayed at home, I probably would of end up sleeping. Telling myself that I can sleep for 20 minutes and everything will be okay. That I only need just a bit of rest and I will be more productive. What I found is that if I tend to lay down for even a second… I’ll just want to waste the whole day away.
I’m not really sure if it’s because of bad habits that I implemented over the years, but being at the library will allow me to stay focused. I’ve read somewhere that in order to change a habit, try starting somewhere new. You’ll eventually reinforce a new habit… supposedly.
I’m tired and I’m frustrated with myself knowing that I am not able to help those around me who need it. I’m frustrated with being a burden on people when all they have done is help me and stuck by my side regardless of the difficulties I’ve faced.
I’m tired of waking up each day knowing that I’m not living the life that I want to live. With all the pain that I’ve been dealing with I can either throw in the towel or stick for another round. If it wasn’t for my supporting girlfriend, I would’ve gave up long time ago. She has been with me through every part of my life. She’s my best friend, and despite me falling repeatedly; she’s been there to pick me up. I’m not really sure where I would be without her.
Through all these hardships, I have to thank God because if it wasn’t for Him I would not be closer to Him the way I am now. I’ve made my share of mistakes. I am starting to understand that I had to receive a lot of hardships that eventually I had no where else to turn to except Him. By bringing me out of my comfort zone, and falling completely to my knees. I have nothing left to lose, but only thousands of things to gain.
I have always ran away from my problems, but despite the things that are going on my life, I won’t back down. I won’t back down from a fight unless I give it my all. I decided to try out sales at a car dealership. I’m not really sure if I’ll be even good at it, but here I am getting out of my safety zone for God because he has helped me. I did it before when I was little but I’ve only sold albums. My girlfriend thinks it’s because I had a cute factor, but I feel like I had this latent talent to sell. After all, when I had worked at Things Remembered I was top sales every single month for selling premium fonts. I realized throughout my life, I was able to sell a lot. Even in high school, I was able to sell my own music regardless of what people thought about it. They laughed and laughed behind my back, but despite all of that I was able to sell my own music.
I understand that selling cars is completely different from what I’m used to selling, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take even though I will face challenges here and there. I can only rise from this point on…
Depression isn’t a laughing matter nor is it a thing to take lightly. A lot of us in the world suffer from sort of depression, and the people we care about suffer from it from time to time as well. Lately, I’ve been going through that and I’ve been battling my stresses trying to figure out how to keep myself from drowning.
Before I would usually just go to bed and not do anything. Now, I just need to do something. If I slow down to pause, then I start stressing out and doubting my abilities to overcome these obstacles that stand in my way. Of course, I still do pause when I’m praying etc, but other than that I try to be productive.
Don’t get me wrong… I’m not saying I’m a productive person. Tackling tasks one after another doesn’t really make me productive especially if I’m not growing into the positive direction I want to go in. If you’re down and you’re stressing out because of whatever life has given you, then I implore you to keep trying to fight that good fight that you have. Do anything besides not doing nothing. Eventually we will all end up in a far better place than where are currently.
I woke up scared because I had set multiple alarms to wake me up at 3AM. I went to bed at 12AM and when I heard those alarms, I jumped out of my bed so fast and ran to every single one of them. Maybe I should buy more alarms so they can all go off, but then again I feel like my roommate my get upset.
Regardless, it is 4AM currently and I am listening to my “feel good” music as I type this blog. So far, I’m actually on a roll and feel great. I’m using this momentum to create the energy I need to complete my day. I know I won’t be going back to bed, and I have to go work an 8 hour shift before heading to Church today. I’m wondering how it will pan out…. I’m a little bit nervous because usually when I wake up around this time, I tend to go back to bed.
I’m thinking of developing an overwhelming feeling of not liking sleep at all. That the more I think about sleeping, the more I don’t want to do it. In effect, I’ll be able to sleep when it’s a necessity in order to continue my life’s activity. How much can I grow in this period of time? How much can I push myself before I hit my limits and capacity?
Here is the fresh start in implementing the habits that I need in my life.
We all experience some sort of hardships through life. We tend to let things get the best of us as we just continuously build unneeded stress. We sabotage ourselves and because of it we limit our own potential.
I’ve been through a crazy roller coaster ride, and believe me I’m not fond of it. Or at least, that’s what I originally had thought. Through personal development and constantly expanding myself, I’ve began to grow to a level I cannot really explain. Why couldn’t I just started sooner? At least, I’m starting now…
When I experience some setback or some kind of trial, I usually just ball up in a corner and just wait for the whole thing to pass. Constantly waiting and waiting as the days and seasons passes by. Nothing changes.
The moment when you tell yourself is enough, you start to let go of all the fears that you had. You let go of all the doubts, the blame, and you find yourself facing yourself in the mirror. After all, this is your battle. This is your war that you have to deal with internally. I’ve been constantly stressed out, that I told myself that today was going to be the day where it all stops. That for me to grow and for me to change the things around me, I had to start with myself.
So for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been working and I been building up the faith that I needed to persevere. To continuously draw closer to the One who lets me know that all is well. Be productive. Be creative. Continue to do what you do, but build yourself up better than the day before. Everything will fall into place before you began to realize it.
With all the personal development I’ve been reading and watching a bunch of videos, I’ve come to the conclusion I need to seriously start working out the things I want to change in my life.
It took a while to figure out what habits I wanted to create or what habits I wanted to break. After all, I was trying to focus on everything way too much and ended up where I was from the start.
So in trying to create a habit, I decided to focus on 3 things every 10 days that I would love to create or break into my life. For my first try, I have decided to implement the following… the warrior diet, waking up at 5am to do my miracle morning, and daily meditations. I will solely focus on accomplishing these three things for the next 10 days and let you know how it goes.
What are habits you are trying to break and create? Let me know.